Too good not to share

Lite · Post by **Lite** » 11 Apr 2005 07:51

How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?
When you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink,"
and the person at the front desk says, "Go ahead."
******
An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and
says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "'Bout what?"
******
Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is
carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th'
bag?" "Jes' some chickens." "If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?"
"Shoot, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em!"
"OK. Ummmmm...five?"
******
An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next
door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here-muh
house is on fahr!" "OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Shucks, don't you fellers still have them big red trucks?"
******
Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or
more?
Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.
******
Billy Bob and Lester were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob
tells Lester,"Ya know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation. Only
this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your
suggestions as to where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I
went to Hawaii and Betty Sue got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me
to go to the Bahamas, and Betty Sue got pregnant again. Last year you
suggested Tahiti and darned if Betty Sue didn't get pregnant again."
Lester asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's
different?"
Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Betty Sue WITH me."
******
Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911-operator told
Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked
the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The operator
asked, "Can you spell that for me?" After a long pause, Bubba said,
"How 'bout I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
******
Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
******
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
Documentaries.
******
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Arkansas. If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been
called a teethbrush.
******
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
*******
A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that when a
couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
******
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane
in Florida have in common?
No matter what, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.

elvina · Post by **elvina** » 11 Apr 2005 21:06

5+

Niki · Post by **Niki** » 29 Apr 2005 10:02

СУПЕР!!!

Niki · Post by **Niki** » 03 May 2005 17:03

How to say "I Love You" in 25 languages....

English . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I Love You
Spanish . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Te Amo
French . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Je T'aime
German . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . lch Liebe Dich
Japanese . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ai Shite Imasu
Italian . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ti Amo
Chinese . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wo Ai Ni
Swedish . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jag Alskar
Alabama, Arkansas, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas,
North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee,
Missouri, Mississippi, Montana, Louisiana, Virginia,
West Virginia &Kentucky . . . . . . . . . . . .

Nice Ass, Get in the truck!

Niki · Post by **Niki** » 03 May 2005 17:10

A Texan dies and goes to hell. While down there the devil notices that the Texan is not suffering like the rest He checks the gauges and sees that it's 100 degrees and about 80% humidity. So he goes over to the Texan and asks why he's so happy. The Texan says, "I really like it here. The temperature is just like Dallas in June."

The devil isn't happy with the Texan's answer and decides to fix him, so he goes over and turns up the thermostat to 120 degrees and the humidity to 90%. After turning everything up he goes looking for the Texan. He finds him standing around unbuttoning his shirt, just as happy as can be. The devil quizzes the Texan again as to why he's so happy. The Texan says, "This is even better. It's like Houston in July."

The devil, now really upset, decides to make the Texan really understand that hell is no paradise. He walks over to the controls and turns the heat up to 140 degrees and the humidity to 100%. "Now let's see what the Texan is up to," he thinks. So he goes looking for the Texan. The devil finds the Texan taking his shirt off basking in the heat, even happier than before. The devil can't figure it out. He asks the Texan why he's happy now. The Texan replies, "This is great, it's just like Brownsville in August."

The devil says, "That's it, I'll get this guy." He walks over and turns the temperature down to a freezing 25 degrees below zero. "Now let's see what the Texan has to say about this," the devil thinks to himself. He looks around and finds the Texan jumping up and down for joy. "What are you so happy about now," asks the devil. Still excited, the Texan replies, "The Rangers have finally won the World Series!"

Lite · Post by **Lite** » 04 May 2005 03:22

А куда делся про карлика? смешной был...И эти - тоже :lol:

Niki · Post by **Niki** » 04 May 2005 13:44

I_am_at_home wrote:А куда делся про карлика? смешной был...И эти - тоже

Про карлика перенесли во "Взрослые". И "Christmas party" тоже.

Niki · Post by **Niki** » 04 May 2005 13:47

Alabama High Speed Chase

Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Camaro east on
I-20 toward Georgia. When the suspect crossed the Georgia
line, the first Trooper pulled over quickly.

The rookie Trooper pulled in behind him and said,
"Hey sarge, why did you stop?"

The sarge replied,
"Stupid rookie, he's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead
of us, so we'll never catch him."

Niki · Post by **Niki** » 04 May 2005 14:08

Yankee In Southern Church

Did you hear the one about the Yankee relative who came down
South for a visit? Seems he had a bad experience at the local
church.

After the service the pastor stood at the door of the church
to shake hands with the congregation.

"Mercy!" he exclaimed, as he saw their visitor. "What happened?
I don't remember your having those black eyes when you came in."

The Yankee hesitated before answering, "It's kind of embarrassing.
You remember the large lady that stood in front of me during the
song service? Well, I noticed her dress was wedged, so I thought
I would be helpful, and I reached to pull it out. That's when she
decked me in the right eye."

"I'm so sorry," the pastor said sympathetically, "That explains
a lot. But what happened to your other eye?"

"Well, she was so angry I thought I should put her dress back in."

IronOrchid · Post by **IronOrchid** » 04 May 2005 19:28

Airline cabin announcements

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

1. On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"

2. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

3. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.

4. "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane"

5. "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

6. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

7. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

8. >From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa.. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

9. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

10. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

11. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

12. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

13. And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

14. Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."

15. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

16. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

17. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"

18. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."

19. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways."

20. Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."

21. A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"

Niki · Post by **Niki** » 05 May 2005 13:24

Southern Grammar

A University of Alabama student was visiting a Yankee relative in Boston
over the holidays. He went to a large party and met a pretty co-ed. He
was attempting to start up a conversation with the line, "Where does you
go to school?" The coed, of course, was not overly impressed with his
grammar or southern drawl, but did answer his question. "Yale," she
replied.
The Alabama student took a big, deep breath and shouted, "WHERE DOES YOU
GO TO SCHOOL?"

Niki · Post by **Niki** » 05 May 2005 13:26

Texas Pearly Gates

A Texan died and went to heaven where St. Peter met him at
the Pearly Gates.

"Show me what you got, Pete," said the Texan. St. Peter swung open
the gates and revealed a beautiful landscape of mountains,
rivers, streams, trees, flowers and all the trimmings.

"We've got that in Texas. We call it Supreme Ranch" said Texan
St. Pete flashed up a scene of men, women and children
frolicking on the countryside, riding coaches, swinging,
swimming, riding horses, bicycling, etc.

"We've got that, too. We call it Six Flags."

Where upon St. Peter threw open a trapdoor of the fires of Hell
and out shot a huge ball of fire followed by a solid stream of
flame sweeping over the entire area. The blinding light and
heat were enormous.

"We don't have that," said the Texan, "but we've got a guy in
Houston who can put it out."

Lite · Post by **Lite** » 05 May 2005 15:00

komodo · Post by **komodo** » 06 May 2005 19:12

Wal-Mart announced that they will soon be offering customers a new discount item: Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2-5 range.
Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for cheap wine", said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing. She said: "But the right name is important."
Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Wal-Mart brand. The top surveyed names in order of popularity are:
10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
2. Grape Expectations

And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine:

1. Nasti Spumante
The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).

komodo · Post by **komodo** » 06 May 2005 19:13

Government Announcement

Today the government announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a "condom" because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

IronOrchid · Post by **IronOrchid** » 07 May 2005 14:08

Found on tombstones in:

Georgia: "I told you I was sick!"

Nova Scotia: Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. The good die young.

London, UK: Here lies Ann Mann. Who lived an old maid,
but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767

Ribbesford UK: Ann Wallace
The Children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

Ruidoso, New Mexico:
Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me for not rising.

Uniontown, PA:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

Silver City, Nevada:
Here lies Butch, We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger, but slow on the draw.

Vermont:
Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes
Who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23,
has many qualifications of a good wife,
and years to be comforted.

England:
Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is strange.

Stowe, Vermont:
I was somebody. Who, is no business of yours.

Naco, Arizona. Lester Moore was a Wells Fargo station agent.
in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in Boot Hill:
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les, No more.

Wimborne, England (Epitaph of John Penny):
Reader if cash thou art, In want of any,
Dig 4 feet deep, And thou wilt find a Penny.

Richmond, Virginia (Margaret Daniel's grave at Hollywood cemetary):
She always said her feet were killing her but nobody believed her.

Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.

Enosburg Falls, Vermont (Anna Hopewell's epitaph):
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

Battersea, London, England (Owen Moore):
Gone away, Owin' more than he could pay.

Winslow, Maine< /FONT>:
In memory of Beza Wood, Departed this life Nov. 2, 1837,
Aged 45 years, Here lies one Wood, enclosed in wood.
One wood within another. The outer wood is very good:
We cannot praise the other.

Nantucket, Massachusetts (1880's grave):
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Johnathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God.

Girard, Pennsylvania - Ellen Shannon's grave:
Who was fatally burned March 21, 1870
By the explosion of a lamp filled with
R.E. Danforth's Non-Explosi ve Burning Fluid".

Albany, New York - Harry Edsel Smith:
Born 1903 - died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down. It was!

Thurmont, Maryland:
Here lies an Atheist,
All dressed up and no place to go.

New England cemetary (epitaph by widow):
Here lies John,
At least I'll know where
he's sleeping tonight.

kron · Post by **kron** » 08 May 2005 01:45

Alabama License Application

Last name: _________________
First name:
(Check appropriate box)
[_] billy bob [_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue

Age: ______ (if unsure, guess)

Sex: _____M_____F_____Not sure

Shoe Size: _____Left_____Right

Occupation:
[_] Farmer [_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress
[_] Unemployed [_] Dirty Politician

Spouse's Name_________________________
2nd Spouse's Name: _________________
3rd Spouse's Name: _________________

Lover's Name: ________________________
2nd Lover's Name: ___________________

Relationship to spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother [_] Uncle
[_] Mother [_] Son
[_] Father [_] Daughter
[_] Cousin [_] Pet

Number of children living in household: _____
Number of children living in shed: _____
Number that are yours: _____

Mother's Name: ___________________
Father's Name: ___________________ (If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home?
___ Total number of vehicles that you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Where your firearms are kept:
[_] truck [_] kitchen
[_] bedroom [_] bathroom
[_] shed

Model and year of your pickup: _______ 194_

Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes [_] No; if no, please explain:
_____________________

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] National Enquirer [_] The Globe
[_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest
[_] Rifle and Shotgun

___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[_] Monthly
[_] Not applicable

Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown [_] Black
[_] N/A
How many?_____

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: [_] Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 200-400 miles
[_] over 400 miles
[_] what's a miles?

IronOrchid · Post by **IronOrchid** » 12 Jun 2005 16:31

FEMALE PRAYER

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Amen.

MALE PRAYER

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store and a Harley.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a crap!
AMEN

Olegus · Post by **Olegus** » 12 Jun 2005 20:55

kron wrote:Alabama License Application

......

Почему Алабама???

kron · Post by **kron** » 12 Jun 2005 21:46

Olegus wrote:
kron wrote:Alabama License Application

......

Почему Алабама???

Must be because Alabama is one of the states where hillbillies live.

STATE SLOGANS

ALABAMA:
Like the third world, but closer.

Niki · Post by **Niki** » 17 Jun 2005 12:40

Redneck Delivery

Way down in dat old swamp known as Louisiana, Boudreaux's old lady's been
pregnant for some time, and now her time had come. So, he brought her to the
doctor, and the doctor began to deliver the baby.

She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Boudreaux and said, Hey,
Boudreaux, you just had you a son! Aint dat just grand"?

Boudreaux got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said,
"Hold on! We ain't finished up yet!"

The doctor then delivered a little girl.

He said, "Hey, Boudreaux! You got you a daughter! She a pretty lil ting, too."

Boudreaux was kind of puzzled by all this, and then the doctor said, "Hold
on, we still ain't got done yet!"

The doctor then delivered another boy and said, " Boudreaux, you just had
youself another boy!"

When Boudreaux and Marie went home with their three children, he sat down
with his wife and said, "Mama, you remember dat night what we runned out of
dat dere Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil?"

She said, "Yeah, I do."

Boudreaux exclaimed, "Man, it's a damn good ting we didn't use no WD-40!"

Niki · Post by **Niki** » 17 Jun 2005 12:41

Packing Lunches

(Texas Aggies get no respect...)

There were three iron workers sitting on the 22 story of a building they
were building at lunch time. The first was a Mexican who opened his lunch
bucket to find a Taco. I am so sick of my wife sending me a taco for lunch
that if she sends me one tomorrow I will jump off this 22nd story. The Next
was a Chinese man, who opened his lunch to find an eggroll. He exclaimed:
"I am so sick of eggrolls, that if my wife packs one tomorrow I will jump
with you."
The third was an Aggie who found a Ham sandwich in his lunch and said He
was so sick of eating a ham sandwich every day that if he found one tomorrow, he
would jump too.

The next day at noon the three sat down on a cross beam of the 22nd story
building they were building. the Mexican found he had a Taco and Jump to
his death. The Chinese man found an eggroll and He too Jumped to his death.
The Aggie found a ham sandwich and took the plunge also.

A few days later the three crying widows meet at the funeral home. the
Mexican said, "If only I would have known he didn't like tacos, I would have
never sent him that taco lunch. The Chinese woman said: "I thought eggrolls
were his favorite." The Aggie's wife said: " I don't understand... he
always packed his own lunch."

Niki · Post by **Niki** » 17 Jun 2005 12:42

Privates

Two good old boys, Bubba and Junior, have been promoted from
Privates to Sergeants. Not long after, they're out for a walk and
Bubba says, "Hey, Junior, there's the NCO Club. Let's you and me
stop in and have a drank."

"But we's privates," protests Junior.

"We's sergeants now," says Bubba, pulling him inside. "Now, Junior,
I'm gonna sit down and have me a drank."

"But, we's privates," says Junior.

"You blind, boy?" asks Bubba, pointing at his stripes. "We's
Sergeants now."

So they order their drinks and pretty soon a prostitute comes up to
Bubba. "You're cute," she says, "and I'd like to take you some place
and make you feel good - but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea."

Bubba pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Junior, go look in
the dictionary and see what gonorrhea means. If it's okay, give me
the okay sign." Junior goes to look it up, comes back, and gives
Bubba the big okay sign.

Three weeks later Bubba is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible
case of gonorrhea. "Junior," he says, "What you give me the okay
for?"

"Well Bubba, in the dictionary, it says gonorrhea only affects the
privates." Then he points to his stripes and says, "But we's
Sergeants now!"

Slava V · Post by **Slava V** » 17 Jun 2005 16:31

http://ivlad.unixgods.net/lj/keylog/klog.htm

Masterok · Post by **Masterok** » 20 Jun 2005 18:42

An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping," to the Irishman, "You're in charge of shoveling, and to the Chinese guy, "And you're in charge of supplies.

"Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that pile."

So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched. He says to the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replies, "I didn't have a broom. You said the Chinese guy was in charge of supplies, but he disappeared and I couldn't find him."

So then the foreman turn to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel. The Irishman replies, "I couldn't get myself a shovel. You left the Chinese guy in charge of supplies, but I couldn't find him."

The foreman is really ticked off now, and storms off toward the pile of sand looking for the Chinese guy. Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from a closet and yells: "SUPPLIES!"