Эссе for MS in Public Finance для Маски-шоу.

luch · Post by **luch** » 19 Oct 2003 22:03

Привет Всем! Третий раз подаю на Маски и каждый раз пролетаю. Вот зацените мое эссе на этот раз. Спасибо за комментарии.

Essay

I’ve decided to apply because I feel a strong necessity of improving and extending my knowledge of public finance. Graduate program in public finance in the country of federal fiscal structure offers an immense variety of knowledge and experiences, which under systematic analysis and reconsidering may assist in bettering contemporary theory of public finance and its practical implementation in Russia. I have the abilities to accomplish such a task and successively complete the program in one-year period: graduation with honor with a strong emphasis on international finance; 4 year postgraduate experience of public finance research resulted in three full size publications, several submissions and useful workshops. My scientific background among other advantages includes extensive critique of works in original of hundreds authors in the theory of public finance.

Specifically, I’m interested in the theory of public debt because it’s the most actual and intricate topic for our economy. I’ve got very interested in public debt since 1998, when budget and debt crisis seriously distressed Russian economy and still threatens its progress. Problems of public debt have a colossal practical influence: that’s why during possible participation I will study its multifaceted management and special effects. Acquired knowledge and experience will help me in publishing a book about American fiscal state and its implications for Russian financial system. Among other reasons I’m planning to become a full time professor, working at the Department of Economics, - participation in the program will no doubt advance my academic career and directly improve the quality of preparation of local specialists in public finance. My ultimate purpose is to create a scientific school because it’s effective to spread the ideas though followers.

As regards democratic development: sound public finances are indispensable for securing democratic state, the theory of public debt and its present management don’t give me even a chance to assume that the democracy is in safety neither in Russia nor in many other developed and developing countries. My contribution will help in improving the theory of public debt, what will provide legitimate foundations for democratic reforms and defense of constitutional rights.

One can’t underestimate the importance of improved public debt theory for economic development. For instance, our government prefers the policy of internal loans, thinking it’s absolutely safe but it’s definitely not. I’m going through authority and intellectual power promote the principles of sound finances. And history shows the examples of such a success: Smith, Keynes, Laffer, - all their influence spread through intellectual tribune.

At last I’d like to mention that being twice an alternate is not a reason to think of stagnation. Each time I improve various points and feel better what I’m going to get and continue through participation in the program.

Chouchou · Post by **Chouchou** » 19 Oct 2003 23:06

Совет с точки зрения языка: в письменной речи не надо употреблять contraction: can't, I'd. Нужно писать польностью: cannot, I would. Кроме того, надо избегать разговорных оборотов типа that's why etc. Лучше писать therefore (к примеру).
Я бы на Вашем месте нашла какого-нибудь носителя языка и попросила отредактировать.
И еще: обычно для такого рода essays есть требования по количеству слов, не забудьте проверить этот момент.
По содержанию и структуре текста говорить не буду, здесь есть знатоки, которые наверняка лучше меня Вам помогут, а также исправят меня, если я не права.

Pink Monkey · Post by **Pink Monkey** » 20 Oct 2003 16:30

Не обижайтесь, но еssay Ваше нечитабельное. Во-первых, слишком длинные фразы. Во-вторых, смешение стилей - слишком много оборотов разговорной речи. В-третьих, плохая структура. Напишите план, и следуйте плану. Ну и наконец, много синтаксических и грам. ошибок. Сейчас нет времени, но может позже сегодня напишу более детально.

vsf · Post by **vsf** » 20 Oct 2003 16:59

Эссе нормальное, показывает, кто ты на самом деле, почему интересуешься вопросом, язык достаточно разнообразен.
Теперь замечания:
1. Ну, правда, скучно. В 1 абзаце нужен Цатч какой нибудь.
2. Логические переходы между абзацами. Каждйы абзац должен начинаться с However, meanwhile, Though.
3. Стиль. Строение МНОГИХ предложений не английское какое то. Посмотри сайты - принцетон ревиев, еше что-то, там за 10 баксов отредактируют стиль.
4. Опять про первый абзац. Им должно быть всё понятно уже после него. То есть там должно быт: Я, Вася Иванов (ну это есть), хочу в программу, потому что: (1) мой дед был министром финансов у Колчака, (2) Моя настольная книга Ливингстон "Дебт маркетс", (3) Greenspan (Brady, кто там еше...) мой кумир. Потом по абзацу (1), (2), (3). То есть они будут знать, о чем ты будешь писать.
В Последнем абзаце : таким образом, участие в программе позволит мне (1) (2)...
5. "Аt last" не надо. Лузеров не любят. Говори о себе хорошее, а не "я был хуже а стал лучше..."

luch · Post by **luch** » 20 Oct 2003 21:01

Спасибо всем за ответы, щас начну перерабатывать в особенности с учетом рульных советов vsf

Что касается плана то он связан с запросами программы:

Write a clear and detailed essay explaining your reasons for applying to the Muskie/FSA Graduate Fellowship Program. Explain how your background, education, and employment since completing secondary school have prepared you to study at the graduate level in the United States. Describe your specific area of interest within your field of study. Explain what you hope to accomplish during your fellowship and how this experience will help you achieve your professional and personal goals, including the type of work or position you would like to have after completing the program. Explain how your participation in this program will contribute to your country's democratic and economic development. Your essay should be typed, double-spaced, and not exceed two pages

luch · Post by **luch** » 21 Oct 2003 11:18

ESSAY

Stop! Why do you need it?! You can get easier and better paid occupation! – when I hear these shouts I reply with the words of my grandfather, who for forty years had worked as a financial researcher and liked to say - «If you are not interested in public finance, then public finance will be interested in you!” And now it is a sunny day, friends invite me to a warm sea, but I go to library and conduct analysis of “The Science of Finance” by Henry Adams to submit the next article to the academic journal “Actual problems of modern science”. There is a portrait of James Buchanan in front of me, he is my idol (как бы повежливее сказать кумир?). I have read his works in original to try to grasp the meaning of every word, his “Public Principles of Public Debt” has influenced me greatly. I believe the future improvement of Russian public finance depends on the theory of public choice and constitutional economics. I want to accelerate it.

Therefore, I have decided to apply to master program in public finance. I have got preparation to substantially contribute to my specific area of interest which is crucially vital for Russian economic and democratic development. My preparation includes: graduation with honor with a strong emphasis on finance; four year postgraduate experience of public finance research resulted in three full size publications and several submissions. I have participated in four summer schools, organized by New Economic School (Moscow), where I have got knowledge of mathematical approach to solving the problems of public finance. Besides, I participated in the two-week seminar organized by National Council of Economic Education, where I had took the first place from thirty participants.

My specific area of interest is public debt because I am sure it’s the most actual and intricate area for our economy. I have got very interested in public debt since 1998, when budget and debt crisis seriously distressed Russian economy and still threatens its progress. Problems of public debt have a colossal practical influence. Therefore, during possible participation I will study its multifaceted management and special effects. Acquired knowledge and experience will help me publish a book about American fiscal state and its implications for Russian financial system.

Democratic and economic development are impossible without sound public finance. After completion the program I am going to help our authorities provide legitimate foundations for economic reforms and defense of constitutional rights through improvements of public debt’s management. For instance, our government prefers the policy of internal loans, thinking it is absolutely safe but it is definitely not, they see short-run advantages disregarding long-run political, social and economic effects of borrowing. Thus, there is an evident necessity of scientifically based projects and research, which I hope to conduct upon my return to homeland.

Finally, as I am planning to become a full time professor of the Department of Economics, I am sure, that participation in the program will no doubt help me achieve my professional goals and advance my academic career at the chairs of public finance and economic theory. I also hope to improve the quality of preparation of local specialists in public finance.