![Mr. Green :mrgreen:](./images/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif)
Toilet paper substitutes:
10. Sand and water. This option is a great one on a river trip or near a lake, and it is the most thorough of the ten options, but it is the messiest, least discrete, and generally requires the most disrobing.
9. Pine Needles. Plenty of options here, but a small handful of needles still attached to their branch works great. A needle bunch is round so its more a scraping conveyor belt than a real wiping tool even though it does resemble a paint brush.
8. Bark. Depending on the type of tree, the bark can be paper-like or block-like. Both work great, but to use tool metaphors, thin bark is like a putty scraper, while the thicker bark is like a sanding block. If the bark is crumbly, you might have the itchies later.
7. Branches. Gather up a few sticks and smooth them off like rubbing the slivers off chopsticks. Your pile of bathroom kindling will serve you well.
6. Moss. Whether plucked off a tree, rock or scraped up from the ground, moss in all it’s glory makes fine TP, but depending on its durability, you may have to be careful to avoid adding to the mess.
5. Pine Cones. Pine cones are nature’s corn cobs. Their size and shape match anyone’s needs, and they just get better with age. Like pine needles, pine cones are highly directional and probably should be left for the experts. In the big picture, if it makes you feel any better, pine cones contain seeds and you are just adding fertilizer as your contribution to this grand cosmic adventure.
4. Leaves. Tree and plant leaves are nature’s meme for toilet paper. Leaves are seasonal and geographic. The where and Top Survival Blogwhen dictates their availability and species, but in about every place there are good choices, bad choices, and dangerous choices so know your botany before your BM. Whether plucked fresh, or scooped up from the forest floor, the supply is both sustainable and ample.
3. Ice. Like bark, ice can be used with precision or as a blunt instrument. In most cases you can adjust the size and shape for your needs. Be aware that as fingers and fanny numb up in the cold, your accuracy will suffer.
2. Rocks. Whether sharp shale or rounded river rocks, almost nothing can beat a good stone. With excellent grip and a choice of edges, textures and contours, rocks are a fabulous solution when TP is scarce. And best of all, rocks rarely travel solo so you might have an unlimited supply on hand. And best of all, after a couple hard rain showers, they’re all good to go again (if you are truly desperate).
1. Snow. By far, snow is the single best TP substitute in my humble and informed opinion. The infinite combination of snow size and shape makes snow a customizable option where one size does not have to fit all. Snow also melts during use providing just the right amount of cleaning solution to take your mop-up to the next level. And just like the humidity indicators in your gun safe, snow provides a color-contrast to measure your progress.