EBITDA: Earnings before I tricked the damn auditor.
EBIT: Earnings before irregularities and tampering.
CEO: Chief embezzlement officer.
CFO: Corporate fraud officer.
NAV: Normal Anderson valuation.
FRS: Fantasy reporting standards.
P/E: Parole entitlement.
EPS: Eventual prison sentence.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor
to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance,
the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
MOMENTUM INVESTING -- The fine art of buying high and selling low.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as
the market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
"BUY, BUY" -- A flight attendant making market recommendations
as you step off the plane.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets
equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy who actually remembers his wallet when
he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears
down the toilet.
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240
per share.
WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker that
bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up
in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- Religious guy who talks to God.
Financial Dictionary
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Alexander_99
- Уже с Приветом
- Posts: 847
- Joined: 25 Mar 2001 10:01
- Location: SPb -> VA, USA -> Bethesda, MD
