/FUN/ что только мы не напишем

В областях, не связанных с IT
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DP
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/FUN/ что только мы не напишем

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Registered bride's per store for desired items prior to wedding and/ or shower.
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имя кандидата

LaTaunya LaShea Blanks
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Most Recent Job Description: Creator of political humor feature adding insightful captions to newsphotos to give a new twist to domestic and international political and cultural trends...
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Most Recent Job Description: Total care for elderly gentleman 6days a week 24hrs per...
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фраза в резюме:

Engaged in data entry actives.
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job title в резюме: "Title: SANDWICH ARTIST" (sic!!!)

PS: employer = Subway
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судьба программиста

Howard Farm – mid 2000 through mid 2004



Wife, kids, and I decided to set up and run a small dairy in 1999. We purchased a small farm, small herd of cows, and set up a grass based dairy in 2000. Skipping the details, in spite of running a model farm and producing a consistently high quality product which far surpassed most producers, we were beaten by poor milk prices, disease, land limitations, and the structure of the dairy industry. We sold the cows mid summer 2004 and are currently running a few beef cattle and pure bred Connemara ponies.

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Mr. Confidential has over 18 years of demonstrated experience
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человек ищет работу (на H1) и spam'ит потенциальных работодателей

now I am in India, Immediate available. pls submit this

pls chup always: UNIX: Sun Sol, Linux, Veritas Volume mgr, Veritas cluster server...

I am very much strongs
thx
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Post by DP »

тяжелая работа в IT.

Work History:


10/24/03 - 6/9/06 - Incarcerated
For the last two and a half years I have been in an intensive in-patient drug addiction treatment program hosted by the Idaho Dept. of Corrections. This program is one of the best in the nation and through it I am now able to manage my addiction and have been clean and sober for nearly three years.

7/22/02 - 10/24/03 - Research, Inc.
Information Systems Manager

6/13/02 - 7/22/02 - Silver Creek Software
Lead Programmer

4/15/02 - 5/22/02 - Venturi Partners Formerly BEST
Technical Lead

7/5/01 - 12/17/01 - Internet Computers International
Visual Basic Programmer

3/1/01 - 7/5/01 - CyTec Computer Consulting
Visual Basic Programmer

3/1/01 - 7/5/01 - CyTec Computer Consulting
Visual Basic Programmer

3/7/01 - 4/15/01 - Power Engineers
Visual Basic Programmer

1/22/01 - 2/7/01 - Software Tailors
Visual Basic Programmer/Crystal Reports

9/10/00 - 10/20/00 - Sterling Commerce
e-Commerce Web Developer

1/20/00 - 9/5/00 - Data Dimensions
Software Test Engineer

10/18/99-12/22/99 - RVP Business Systems
Visual Basic Programmer

9/1/99 - 11/1/99 - EnerX Development
FoxPro Programmer

12/28/98 - 9/16/99 - Silver Creek Software
Lead Programmer

7/28/98 - 11/30/98 - Idaho Dept. of Health and Welfare
Visual Basic Programmer

4/28/98 - 7/28/98 - Idaho Dept. of Lands
FoxPro Programmer

11/24/97 - 3/1/98 - National Data Corporation
Visual C++ Programmer

8/12/96 - 5/1/97 - Silver Creek Software
Lead Programmer

6/21/95 - 8/12/96 - TelStar Associates
Lead Programmer

10/12/93 - 10/5/94 - Adecco TAD at Hewlett Packard
Software Engineer

10/12/92 - 10/12/93 - Hewlett Packard
Software Engineer
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Post by DP »

в теле e-mail'а

I do want to let you know that I do not know C++ as of yet, but now that I am done with school, I do want to continue my education when it comes to programming languages and I would welcome the opportunity to learn C++.
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applicant пишет

Hi,

Fa my resume.

I have all the experience that you require for this job.
Pleae go thru my resume once and it should be a cakewalk from there on.

Thanks,
Gaurav
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кандидат пишет в резюме на monster.com

Most Recent Job Description: Due to an injury sustained in Special Forces training, I am currently working USAJFKSWCS as an VB/Access/SQL Server developer.
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известо что за рубежом иногда давали имена детям в честь наших вождей :wink: ...

вот и сегодня смотрю на резюме - имя:

Stalin Balasubramanium, e-mail stalin.bala@...

у нас в фирме уже один Lenin был, надо для комплекта нанять и Stalin'а.
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из cover letter:

Dear Sir / Madam, I was selected as Technocrat of the Company...
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кусок из резюме

1980 – 1996 Merchant Marine and Commercial Alaskan Fisherman
<...removed...> Never sank!

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Post by DP »

это в копилку excuse'ов

Dear <...>,

My family and I have recently encountered some financial problems
created when my wife lost her job last week. This has forced me to
reconsider my employment situation with <...>. My accepting
your employment offer and the significant reduction in salary (I
currently earn $125,000 base with a 25% target bonus which has been
paid-out the past 2 quarters at 100%) was predicated on my wife's income
contribution. Without it, there is no way we can absorb the drop in
income. As such, I regret to inform you that I have no choice but to
severe my employment agreement with <...>. Please accept my
apology for any inconvenience this creates for you and your client,
<...>. Thank you for understanding.


Sincerely,
<...>


полагается писать в полночь с воскресения на понедельник при намеченном выходе на работу в это самый понедельник :umnik1:
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из cover letter, сегодня получил

I am presently the IT Manager for U.S. Senator Joseph Lieberman.
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из резюме:

2004 - 2006, 2002 - 2003, Domestic Engineer
Manager in charge of household containing two adults and four children (currently 4yr., 7yr., 13yr., and 15yr.). Maintained budget, planned activities and meals, performed domestic duties (cooking, cleaning, carpooling).
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как обычно приходит спам от всяких бодишопов... этот конкретно порадовал экзотическим сочетанием имен.

From: Natasha Singh
Subj: Excellent Candidates Available for Projects
Body: <индус #1>, <индус #2>, ... Kubanych Abakirovich Temirov
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Post by DP »

имя в резюме

Panikki Bandarage Pasidu Bandara Bulumulla


:umnik1:
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заголовок (из списка резюме после поиска) на monster.com

Excited Professional


:pain1:
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резюме священника видели ??? ну смотрите кусок...


Senior Pastor

* Design weekly services to communicate a relevant and thematic message through verbal communication, music and other media.
* Develop and oversee the administrative structure.
* Create the vision for the church and implement it through continuous communication.
* Recruit, equip and train various administrative and ministry teams to carry out the vision and daily functions of the church.

Creatively build connections between the community and the church through various outreach events.



не упоминает имя божье всуе :umnik1:
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имя - Simion Stalin Devairakkam
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заголовок резюме на monster.com

NAFTA Victim, Out of IT 2 years - HELP!!

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