Materials Safety Data Sheet:Woman

[Alex_L]

Materials Safety Data Sheet: Woman

Element: Woman
Symbol: WO2
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 118 lbs, but known to vary from 100 to 550 lbs.
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas

Physical Properties:
Surface often covered with a painted film.
Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
Melts if given special treatment.
Bitter if incorrectly used.
Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

Chemical Properties:
Has a great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and precious stones.
Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
Insoluble in liquids but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol.
Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.

Tests:
Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Hazards:
Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
Illegal to possess more than one.