GRE Analytical Writing

[Jenechka]

To Felicie и Star-Gazer
случайно заглянула сюда и обрадовалась

Спасибо огромное за такие подробные ответы про эссэ,
сейчас распечатаю и начну учить наизусть!
Честно говоря, стало страшно. Такой уровень английского
за 2 мес. не достичь... все бытовым привыкли разговаривать.
может его и хватит, если структура будет сильная?

Еще раз, огромное спасибо!!!

[anspirit]

А что такое POWERPREP? Это какое-то подготовительное пособие для GRE?

Это программа от самого великого и ужасного ETS-а. Странно что Вы не знаете.

А можете ли вы cut-and-paste сочинение из POWERPREP? И я тогда постараюсь обосновать оценку. Кстати, 6 баллов - это самая высокая? Я сама когда-то давно сдавала GRE, но не помню никакого сочинения. Сдавала general (multiple choice) и subject.

Мне кажется, что раз Вы так авторитетно пишете, то вы должны это знать. За эссе по GRE general и TOEFL макс. оценка 6.0 баллов.

Topic: "The best ideas arise from a passionate interest in commonplace things."

Even the most brilliant thinkers, from Socrates to Satre, live lives in time. A childhood, an adolescence, an adulthood; these are common to me and you as well as the greatest writers. Furthermore, many of the great thinkers we esteem in our Western culture lived somewhat unevetful lives. What distinguished their life from say a common laborer was their work. Therefore, what provided the grist for their work? One might say that they were brilliant and this alone was sufficient to distinguish their lives from the masses. Intellect alone can not devise situations or thoughts from no where; there must be a basis and that basis is most common, if not always, observation of the common, of the quotidian. Critics of this idea may argue that these thinkers were products of fine educations and were well schooled in the classics. This, they may point to, is the real basis for their knowledge. I would agrue that although it may be a benefit to study classics and be well schooled in diverse disciplines, these pursuits merely refine and hone an ability each and every person has, the ability to study human nature. Where best to study human nature than in the day to day routine each one of us can witness in him or herself or those around us.

I propose that the two best disciplines to understand this power of the commonplace and its ability to cause a groundswell of thought are philosophy and literature. Every school of philosophy, from the Greeks to our day, share a common mission or intent and that is to understand and explain human existence, with all of its concommitant features. Generally speaking, the Greek philosophers, epitomized in Aristotle, attempted to set down rules for human behavior founded on logic. These rules applied not only to the rare forms of human behavior but largely focused on the more mundane motions of daily life. Many of Aristotle's rules were based on his observations of others as well as himself. Contrast this venture with the existentialists of our century who attempted to look behind the real motivations of human behavior as well understand man's relation to the Universe. To do this, what did these philosophers do? They studied those around them; they submerged themselves in the commonplace, in cities with hordes of annonymous people. While the existentialists, as well those philosophers before, exploited their uncommon eduation and intellect, the basis for their movement was ordinary human behavior and existence.

Finally, literature is similar to philosophy in that it seeks to explain and understand human behavior and therefore rooted in the commonplace. Nevertheless, its relative strength over philosophy is literature's ability to emotionally and spiritually move the reader through the use of contrived situations and fictional characters. It can do this when even the central theme of a piece maybe love between a man and a woman (e.g.commonplace). Literature also distinguishes itself from philosophy in that the breadth of the fiction may be huge. The plot and the detail can be quite ordinary or fanatastic. However, this does not mean that the central themes of all literature, whether ordinary or fantastic, deal with human beings and the problems they find in the world, something which we all share.

In conclusion, I hope it has been shown that a passionate desire to understand and explain human behavior, the significance of our existence and deal constructively with the challanges of life are the centerpieces of at least in two of the most influential areas in human thought. What is more commonplace than the existence of man.

[genia]

How much did you have for the verbal section? I have been prepared 6 hours a day for a month now and I speak fluently French and not so bad English, but still score between 450-550 in all these simulating exams. I have this impression that more I study, worse I do.

Also, how big was your essay? It takes for me forever to write 500 words. I will never be able to write something consistent in 45 min. Did you think in Russian and after translate, or you go directly in English? The previous postings about structure are interesting but for me it is not a problem. I could have the best structure in the world but what should I do with the absence of worthwhile ideas. As one of my friends said, I, probably, have a conflict of operational systems. I could not anymore think abstractly in Russian ( forgot or, maybe, never did), I could not do it neither in French nor in English because I never did it before. How could you come up with ideas about " every cloud has a silver linning" in 5-10 min? I am really desperate. Did someone encounter the same? I will be very grateful to see your story. Maybe, I will feel better .
One more thing, if someone wants to share efforts for GRE preparation, please, write to geniaclaret at netscape dot net.

The last thing, there is an interesting website about GRE and, especially, GRE writing http://www.testmagic.com/forum

Thanks for your time and consideration,
Genia

[Felicie]

А что такое POWERPREP? Это какое-то подготовительное пособие для GRE?

Это программа от самого великого и ужасного ETS-а. Странно что Вы не знаете.

А можете ли вы cut-and-paste сочинение из POWERPREP? И я тогда постараюсь обосновать оценку. Кстати, 6 баллов - это самая высокая? Я сама когда-то давно сдавала GRE, но не помню никакого сочинения. Сдавала general (multiple choice) и subject.

Мне кажется, что раз Вы так авторитетно пишете, то вы должны это знать. За эссе по GRE general и TOEFL макс. оценка 6.0 баллов.

Topic: "The best ideas arise from a passionate interest in commonplace things."

Even the most brilliant thinkers, from Socrates to Satre, live lives in time. A childhood, an adolescence, an adulthood; these are common to me and you as well as the greatest writers. Furthermore, many of the great thinkers we esteem in our Western culture lived somewhat unevetful lives. What distinguished their life from say a common laborer was their work. Therefore, what provided the grist for their work? One might say that they were brilliant and this alone was sufficient to distinguish their lives from the masses. Intellect alone can not devise situations or thoughts from no where; there must be a basis and that basis is most common, if not always, observation of the common, of the quotidian. Critics of this idea may argue that these thinkers were products of fine educations and were well schooled in the classics. This, they may point to, is the real basis for their knowledge. I would agrue that although it may be a benefit to study classics and be well schooled in diverse disciplines, these pursuits merely refine and hone an ability each and every person has, the ability to study human nature. Where best to study human nature than in the day to day routine each one of us can witness in him or herself or those around us.

I propose that the two best disciplines to understand this power of the commonplace and its ability to cause a groundswell of thought are philosophy and literature. Every school of philosophy, from the Greeks to our day, share a common mission or intent and that is to understand and explain human existence, with all of its concommitant features. Generally speaking, the Greek philosophers, epitomized in Aristotle, attempted to set down rules for human behavior founded on logic. These rules applied not only to the rare forms of human behavior but largely focused on the more mundane motions of daily life. Many of Aristotle's rules were based on his observations of others as well as himself. Contrast this venture with the existentialists of our century who attempted to look behind the real motivations of human behavior as well understand man's relation to the Universe. To do this, what did these philosophers do? They studied those around them; they submerged themselves in the commonplace, in cities with hordes of annonymous people. While the existentialists, as well those philosophers before, exploited their uncommon eduation and intellect, the basis for their movement was ordinary human behavior and existence.

Finally, literature is similar to philosophy in that it seeks to explain and understand human behavior and therefore rooted in the commonplace. Nevertheless, its relative strength over philosophy is literature's ability to emotionally and spiritually move the reader through the use of contrived situations and fictional characters. It can do this when even the central theme of a piece maybe love between a man and a woman (e.g.commonplace). Literature also distinguishes itself from philosophy in that the breadth of the fiction may be huge. The plot and the detail can be quite ordinary or fanatastic. However, this does not mean that the central themes of all literature, whether ordinary or fantastic, deal with human beings and the problems they find in the world, something which we all share.

In conclusion, I hope it has been shown that a passionate desire to understand and explain human behavior, the significance of our existence and deal constructively with the challanges of life are the centerpieces of at least in two of the most influential areas in human thought. What is more commonplace than the existence of man.

Ваша ирония неуместна. Я уже писала, что не сдавала сочинения, когда брала GRE. То ли правила с тех давних пор изменились, то ли это сочинение только для иностранных студентов, а может только для научно-технических специальностей, так как гуменитарии сдают subject test, где нужно в любом случае много писать. Я не знаю. А даже если бы я это сочинение сдавала, я бы точно сейчас не помнила по какой бальной системе оно оценивается. Моя авторитетность, как вы выразились, проистекает от того, что я преподавала классы college writing, а поэтому хорошо знаю критерии, по которым подобные сочинения оцениваются проверяющими.

Теперь по делу. В том эссе, которое вы выложили, есть thesis sentence - это предпоследнее предложение первого абзаца, которое начинается: "I would argue...". Есть в нём и road map - т.е. предложение, которое даёт намётку, о чём будет аргументация. Такая road map может быть частью тезисного предложения, а может идти отдельным предложением. В данном случае - это отдельное предложение, которое начинает 2й абзац. Оно говорит, что речь будет идти о философии и литературе. Продолжение второго абзаца - это развитие мысли о философии. Второе предложение второго абзаца - это topic sentence про философию. Третий абзац (как и обещала road map) - это абзац про литературу, где первое предложение - это опять же topic sentence.. Последний абзац - это заключение. Так что формальная организационная схема в этом сочинении соблюдена.

[Felicie]

Такой уровень английского
за 2 мес. не достичь... все бытовым привыкли разговаривать.
может его и хватит, если структура будет сильная?

Не волнуйтесь. Структура - это главное. Если у вас есть возможность, то купите книжку по грамматике и ещё одну на тему college writing. Постарайтесь выучить расставление знаков препинания по-английски. Оно очень отличается от русского (я из-за английского забыла, как правильно ставить запятые в русском). Ещё постарайтесь проверять, чтоб у вас всегда сходилось число глагола: "he speaks, but they speak". Почти все иностранцы это правило хорошо знают, но очень часто забывают в спешке. А за эту ошибку тоже любят снимать. Постарайтесь побольше употреблять логических связок. А для "элегантности" варьируйте структуру предложений, чтоб не каждое предложение начиналось с подлежащего главного предложения, а иногда, скажем, с подчинённого предложения: "while some people say this... others say that..." или используйте inverted structure (не часто - инверсия иногда звучит слишком неформально): "To do this, you must first do that" или "As for him, he says that..."

[star_gazer]

Genia, my keyboard today is in English, so let us speak English.


How much did you have for the verbal section?

My business school, like many other buisness schools, required a score of above 4. I did recieve a score above that benchmark so I do not exactly remember what it was because it didn't worry me much. I think it was 5 out of 6.

I have been prepared 6 hours a day for a month now and I speak fluently French and not so bad English, but still score between 450-550 in all these simulating exams. I have this impression that more I study, worse I do.

I know many people face this problem, mainly because we are not accustomed to this kind of tests whereas in the European countries it's a common practice. Therefore these tests are not only about mastering English but also having special skills that help to pass these exams. One of the skills is to structure your essay appropriately. How do you score in other parts of the test? maybe you need to brush up your listening or reading? Or are the essays your major problem?
Anyway, let's focus on essays. What skills do you need to write an essay? You should be able to write concise, gramatically correct, logical sentences in a realtively short period of time. If you don't have these skills, you will have to develop them. That's the shark true about these tests. I am sure, with such a rigorous preparation, now you feel more confident in writing essays, though you were scored at the same rate.

how big was your essay?

I don't know the exact number of words, but it was not terribly big.

It takes for me forever to write 500 words. I will never be able to write something consistent in 45 min .... I could not anymore think abstractly in Russian ( forgot or, maybe, never did), I could not do it neither in French nor in English because I never did it before.

You also said that your English is not so bad, which I can also see judging from our correspondence. So I think your problem is obvious. You need to learn writing faster. My advice is that you start writing relatively big essays, with no time constraints at first . Forget about the GRE test. Forget about the time. Imagine you are a journalist. Choose a topic that is very easy for you and write an article in a good English. Indulge in time. Don't forget that good articles always consider two or more opposite views and then give a conclusion, which is the author's opinion.
Try to write other articles (or you can read articles in Russian and then make a news coverage in English). Thus you will develop a skill of writing good essays and spur your abstract thinking. As soon as you feel confident in that, you can move to the second challenge, which is to write good essays fast. By then, you will have the basic skill of writing good essays and all you will need is just to speed up. If you split the problem in these two parts, I think it will be easier to approach it. The only drawback is that it's a bit time-consuming method...

Did you think in Russian and after translate, or you go directly in English?.

I am often asked in which language I think. I don't know. I just think!!! :) As to writing, try to write directly in English. It will save you time. I don't mean transalting words from one language into another. Russian and English are structurally different languages and I think you can't afford during the exam to switch from one structure to another, unless you are a professional interpreter.
If you follow my advice and pretend to be for a while an English speaking correspondent, I am sure you will get used to writing directly in English.

what should I do with the absence of worthwhile ideas. ...How could you come up with ideas about " every cloud has a silver linning" ... Did someone encounter the same? I will be very grateful to see your story. Maybe, I will feel better

You don't need to be very sophisticated about ideas because I doubt that your essays are corrected by people as brilliant as Plato or Aristotle. Moreover, in GRE you have 45 minutes, unlike toefl and gmat were we had to grapple with essays in just 30 minutes. "Is it getting better? Or do you feel the same?" (c) :)
So you can allow up to 15 minutes for inventing the examples and arguments for your essay. I am sure in 15 minutes anyone (let alone journalists :) ) can come up with some idea. I would also advice that you visit one forum here on Privet.com: " О жизни". I tell you the questions there seem to have been taken from these exams: eg.

Вы гордитесь или стыдитесь быть русским заграницей?
Может ли мужчина уйти из семьи не из-за женщины?
Есть ли жизнь в Springfield, IL?

My "favourite" ones are

Дешевая жена из России - миф или реальность?
Кто говорил, что в Америке природы нет ?!
Девочки и мальчики: 12 различий.
Американские женщины предпочитают спать в одиночку?

Well, jokes apart, some topics there are really "hopeless" in terms of common sence. But people still argue. It might help you if you follow their reasoning.

That's all for now. Remember that if you want to achieve something, you have to work away at it.


My best regards and good luck,

star_gazer.

[Jenechka]

Felicie, спасибо за ответ.
не могли бы Вы порекомендовать книжку по college writing and grammar?
Я набрала кучу книг в библиотеке, но что-то все не то...
Я пока практикуюсь писать сочинения, тяжко. С первого предложения уже видно, что я не языконоситель.
Какие-то получаются выдавленные искуственные словосочетания, несущие странный смысл. Может проще надо выражаться?

Genia,
Как у вас продвигаются дела? Спасибо за testmagic, действительно
очень полезный сайт. Почитаешь его, страшно становится сколько я еще не знаю и не умею. А времени то осталось до середины ноября...

[genia]

Very good one - Writing skill for GRE/GMAT tests by Thomson/Peterson's.
120 Issues +120 Arguments - GRE, Answers to the real essay questions by Stewart, Arco.
I took both from public library.

Jenechka, if you are interested to discuss GRE and all that jazz, write me at geniaclaret att netscape dot net and we could meet as I am not far from Redwood City.
cheers,
genia

[genia]

Thanks for your answer. It was interesting to read.
I do not think that I have problems with reading and listening. I am still struggling through Folkner but New York Times' and new Yorker's style I digest quite well. My problem is not with my English even though I could not write properly. Writing skill is important but not crucial for GRE. You need to have IDEAS with compelling examples and I have this impression that there is nothing in my head unless I pick up something from internet.
Your advice to go to see the discussion on "life" subject to develop critical thinking does not help me at all, because we always have something to say about "Кто говорил, что в Америке природы нет ?! or Девочки и мальчики: 12 различий" or other mundane issues but what's about " importance of imaginative literature", " best use for success" or 'silver lining". I think the ability for abstract thinking is quite different from the ability for argumentative reasoning.

have a good day, genia

[star_gazer]

Thanks for your answer. It was interesting to read.
I do not think that I have problems with reading and listening. I am still struggling through Folkner but New York Times' and new Yorker's style I digest quite well. My problem is not with my English even though I could not write properly. Writing skill is important but not crucial for GRE. You need to have IDEAS with compelling examples and I have this impression that there is nothing in my head unless I pick up something from internet.
Your advice to go to see the discussion on "life" subject to develop critical thinking does not help me at all, because we always have something to say about "Кто говорил, что в Америке природы нет ?! or Девочки и мальчики: 12 различий" or other mundane issues but what's about " importance of imaginative literature", " best use for success" or 'silver lining". I think the ability for abstract thinking is quite different from the ability for argumentative reasoning.

have a good day, genia

Genia,

I agree that GRE anlytical writing boils down to squeezing proper ideas out of your head. But you dont have to be that ABSTRACT in your thinking because remeber that you develop your ideas based on your lifetime experience and(or) imagination. And to make your logic understood, you need to be argumentative... what's wrong with the question "best use for success"? Say that success gives you confidence, material benefits and the drive to energize with your own success other people and therefore help them. Embroider each of these points and that's it !

regrads,
star_gazer.

[genia]

OK about success, but what will you say about " concept of "individual responibility is a necessary function"? Will you discuss your personal experience or "naturalism" or something else?

[star_gazer]

OK about success, but what will you say about " concept of "individual responibility is a necessary function"? Will you discuss your personal experience or "naturalism" or something else?

Yes, this concept is essential for any society because, say, it predetrmines social stability and on an individual level it's a fundamental feature of maturity. You can point out that, however, it may lead to alieneation because people may become reluctunt to ask each other for help. Do you want me to answer all their questions?

[genia]

As I understood, "necessary fiction" means something that does not exist but it is necessary that people believe that it exist. It is a quite complicated philosophical concept. For example, I want to do something out of social norms, say walk naked on the street, but I do not. If "personal responsibility" is considered as a necessary fiction, then we should interpet my non-doing by following: I do not this because I believe that I am responsible for my behavior. In fact, it is not my "free will", but society makes me believe that it is, because it is better for its existence.
I am sure that ETS, who created GRE, did not want us to go too far into philosophical jungles but what can we do....
If you have time, it will be interesting what should be a 250-300 words topic on the subject.
cheers, genia