/FUN/ что только мы не напишем

DP · Post by DP » 02 Feb 2006 16:46

Registered bride's per store for desired items prior to wedding and/ or shower.

DP · Post by DP » 02 Feb 2006 18:59

имя кандидата

LaTaunya LaShea Blanks

DP · Post by DP » 09 Feb 2006 17:46

Most Recent Job Description: Creator of political humor feature adding insightful captions to newsphotos to give a new twist to domestic and international political and cultural trends...

DP · Post by DP » 09 Feb 2006 21:09

Most Recent Job Description: Total care for elderly gentleman 6days a week 24hrs per...

DP · Post by DP » 14 Feb 2006 19:32

фраза в резюме:

Engaged in data entry actives.

DP · Post by DP » 20 Feb 2006 19:45

job title в резюме: "Title: SANDWICH ARTIST" (sic!!!)

PS: employer = Subway

DP · Post by DP » 30 Mar 2006 17:09

судьба программиста

Howard Farm – mid 2000 through mid 2004

Wife, kids, and I decided to set up and run a small dairy in 1999. We purchased a small farm, small herd of cows, and set up a grass based dairy in 2000. Skipping the details, in spite of running a model farm and producing a consistently high quality product which far surpassed most producers, we were beaten by poor milk prices, disease, land limitations, and the structure of the dairy industry. We sold the cows mid summer 2004 and are currently running a few beef cattle and pure bred Connemara ponies.

DP · Post by DP » 16 May 2006 16:01

Mr. Confidential has over 18 years of demonstrated experience

DP · Post by DP » 30 May 2006 13:59

человек ищет работу (на H1) и spam'ит потенциальных работодателей

now I am in India, Immediate available. pls submit this

pls chup always: UNIX: Sun Sol, Linux, Veritas Volume mgr, Veritas cluster server...

I am very much strongs
thx

DP · Post by DP » 12 Jun 2006 15:30

тяжелая работа в IT.

Work History:

10/24/03 - 6/9/06 - Incarcerated
For the last two and a half years I have been in an intensive in-patient drug addiction treatment program hosted by the Idaho Dept. of Corrections. This program is one of the best in the nation and through it I am now able to manage my addiction and have been clean and sober for nearly three years.

7/22/02 - 10/24/03 - Research, Inc.
Information Systems Manager

6/13/02 - 7/22/02 - Silver Creek Software
Lead Programmer

4/15/02 - 5/22/02 - Venturi Partners Formerly BEST
Technical Lead

7/5/01 - 12/17/01 - Internet Computers International
Visual Basic Programmer

3/1/01 - 7/5/01 - CyTec Computer Consulting
Visual Basic Programmer

3/1/01 - 7/5/01 - CyTec Computer Consulting
Visual Basic Programmer

3/7/01 - 4/15/01 - Power Engineers
Visual Basic Programmer

1/22/01 - 2/7/01 - Software Tailors
Visual Basic Programmer/Crystal Reports

9/10/00 - 10/20/00 - Sterling Commerce
e-Commerce Web Developer

1/20/00 - 9/5/00 - Data Dimensions
Software Test Engineer

10/18/99-12/22/99 - RVP Business Systems
Visual Basic Programmer

9/1/99 - 11/1/99 - EnerX Development
FoxPro Programmer

12/28/98 - 9/16/99 - Silver Creek Software
Lead Programmer

7/28/98 - 11/30/98 - Idaho Dept. of Health and Welfare
Visual Basic Programmer

4/28/98 - 7/28/98 - Idaho Dept. of Lands
FoxPro Programmer

11/24/97 - 3/1/98 - National Data Corporation
Visual C++ Programmer

8/12/96 - 5/1/97 - Silver Creek Software
Lead Programmer

6/21/95 - 8/12/96 - TelStar Associates
Lead Programmer

10/12/93 - 10/5/94 - Adecco TAD at Hewlett Packard
Software Engineer

10/12/92 - 10/12/93 - Hewlett Packard
Software Engineer

DP · Post by DP » 14 Jun 2006 14:08

в теле e-mail'а

I do want to let you know that I do not know C++ as of yet, but now that I am done with school, I do want to continue my education when it comes to programming languages and I would welcome the opportunity to learn C++.

DP · Post by DP » 03 Jul 2006 21:08

applicant пишет

Hi,

Fa my resume.

I have all the experience that you require for this job.
Pleae go thru my resume once and it should be a cakewalk from there on.

Thanks,
Gaurav

DP · Post by DP » 06 Jul 2006 22:37

кандидат пишет в резюме на monster.com

Most Recent Job Description: Due to an injury sustained in Special Forces training, I am currently working USAJFKSWCS as an VB/Access/SQL Server developer.

DP · Post by DP » 11 Jul 2006 22:18

известо что за рубежом иногда давали имена детям в честь наших вождей :wink:

...

вот и сегодня смотрю на резюме - имя:

Stalin Balasubramanium, e-mail stalin.bala@...

у нас в фирме уже один Lenin был, надо для комплекта нанять и Stalin'а.

DP · Post by DP » 14 Sep 2006 14:02

из cover letter:

Dear Sir / Madam, I was selected as Technocrat of the Company...

DP · Post by DP » 09 Oct 2006 21:01

кусок из резюме

1980 – 1996 Merchant Marine and Commercial Alaskan Fisherman
<...removed...> Never sank!

DP · Post by DP » 23 Oct 2006 14:47

это в копилку excuse'ов

Dear <...>,

My family and I have recently encountered some financial problems
created when my wife lost her job last week. This has forced me to
reconsider my employment situation with <...>. My accepting
your employment offer and the significant reduction in salary (I
currently earn $125,000 base with a 25% target bonus which has been
paid-out the past 2 quarters at 100%) was predicated on my wife's income
contribution. Without it, there is no way we can absorb the drop in
income. As such, I regret to inform you that I have no choice but to
severe my employment agreement with <...>. Please accept my
apology for any inconvenience this creates for you and your client,
<...>. Thank you for understanding.

Sincerely,
<...>

полагается писать в полночь с воскресения на понедельник при намеченном выходе на работу в это самый понедельник :umnik1:

DP · Post by DP » 27 Oct 2006 19:59

из cover letter, сегодня получил

I am presently the IT Manager for U.S. Senator Joseph Lieberman.

DP · Post by DP » 03 Jan 2007 21:57

из резюме:

2004 - 2006, 2002 - 2003, Domestic Engineer
Manager in charge of household containing two adults and four children (currently 4yr., 7yr., 13yr., and 15yr.). Maintained budget, planned activities and meals, performed domestic duties (cooking, cleaning, carpooling).

DP · Post by DP » 25 Jan 2007 18:17

как обычно приходит спам от всяких бодишопов... этот конкретно порадовал экзотическим сочетанием имен.

From: Natasha Singh
Subj: Excellent Candidates Available for Projects
Body: <индус #1>, <индус #2>, ... Kubanych Abakirovich Temirov

DP · Post by DP » 13 Mar 2007 17:12

имя в резюме

Panikki Bandarage Pasidu Bandara Bulumulla

DP · Post by DP » 22 Mar 2007 20:14

заголовок (из списка резюме после поиска) на monster.com

Excited Professional

DP · Post by DP » 11 May 2007 18:40

резюме священника видели ??? ну смотрите кусок...

Senior Pastor

* Design weekly services to communicate a relevant and thematic message through verbal communication, music and other media.
* Develop and oversee the administrative structure.
* Create the vision for the church and implement it through continuous communication.
* Recruit, equip and train various administrative and ministry teams to carry out the vision and daily functions of the church.

Creatively build connections between the community and the church through various outreach events.

не упоминает имя божье всуе :umnik1:

DP · Post by DP » 06 Jun 2007 20:20

имя - Simion Stalin Devairakkam

DP · Post by DP » 06 Jun 2007 20:21

заголовок резюме на monster.com

NAFTA Victim, Out of IT 2 years - HELP!!